Children are concrete thinkers-they don't understand the full meaning of words that are abstract or vague. Consequently, they may not understand common parental criticisms.

Consider the following example:

"Johnny, you have a bad attitude today."

In this context, what does the word "bad" mean? It is a vague term used to describe a variety of possible behaviors. While Johnny may be able to infer your meaning, this statement does not address the specific behaviors you would like him to address.

Consider this alternative:

"Johnny, when I asked you to take out the trash, you rolled your eyes and sighed."

In this example, we have described a specific behavior and indicated to Johnny that it was an inappropriate response. This gives Johnny a very clear message about our expectations for him.

Remember that our goal as parents is to create messages for our children that THEY understand.